When Words Don’t Come

“Still Alice” captures the dramatic nature of dementia in its recent release in theaters. Julianne Moore gracefully depicts the real-life trauma of forgetting and the unfortunate shame that accompanies that circumstance.

If years lend us the opportunity to grow older, most of us will gradually meet this tragic and startling experience head on.

As a patient advocate for encephalitis, I often have the opportunity to speak to doctors, nurses, caregivers and survivors about this illness — diagnosing it, treating it, living with it, caring for it and understanding its dramatic change in a person’s identity.

The difference between “Alice” and encephalitis patients is that it’s not gradual: it’s overnight. At only 38, my short-term memory was shot overnight due to encephalitis, a brain injury. And in these times of fortune when I find myself on stage to educate, words vanish. Even concepts.

Maybe it makes it real for thevanish audience. That this seemingly-has-it-together professional actually faces hurdles. For me, though, it’s a frightening experience. The closer I try to get to the word, the farther it gets. The feeling is that I’m being robbed of my credibility.

Regardless of how a person arrived at being “forgetful,” think about these things when words don’t come:

  1. We are reduced to humility when words vacate our minds. Be gentle.
  2. Please, please, please refrain from saying, “happens to me all the time.” This is unintentionally dismissive.
  3. Unless the memory-challenged person requests help filling in blanks, give us time or wait for us to ask for assistance. Suggesting words might actually take us farther from our original intention.

For directors Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland, well done on unveiling the realities of memory issues in all their colors – harsh, tender, brave and even comical.

2 thoughts on “When Words Don’t Come

  1. Becky,

    Thank you for the Post, the suggestions are spot on. I get a little frustrated when a love one trys to finish a sentence for me when I can not remember the word or person’s name.

    W. Tracy Webster
    Director of Corporate Safety

    P.O. Box 570335 Dallas, Texas 75357-0335
    tracywebster@deebrown.com http://www.deebrown.com
    214.321.6443 office 214.328.1039 fax 214.882.0704 cell

    [logo_withstonemasonry_est1955_bold]

    This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. This communication represents the originator’s personal views and opinions, which do not necessarily reflect those of Dee Brown, Inc. If you are not the original recipient or the person responsible for delivering the email to the intended recipient, be advised that you have received this email in error, and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying of this email is strictly prohibited. If you received this email in error, please immediately notify the sender by return email and delete all copies.

Leave a Reply to Tracy Webster Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *